Joy in the New

by Andersen Silva

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credits

released August 3, 2004

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about

Andersen Silva Lyndhurst

Lyndhurst, NJ singer/songwriter Andersen Silva released I'll Live, a double album with 42 songs dabbling in pop-punk & jazz & electronic & more, on 11-11-16.

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Track Name: Gasp [poem]
Desolate world, moody grey and hopeless,
I sit, and sigh, and weep, and witness
The pain, and the anger, the sadness and despair.
Why go on living? Why gasp at the air?

Aching existence, my heart is quite numb;
From all of this misery what good can come?
Happiness, it would be so simply achieved.
But my poignant longing will not be relieved.

Despite this, why not live? Why not spend one's days
Searching for beauty that's found in sun's rays?
Life can be horrific, we all know it's true;
But death's absolute, for me and for you.

Decisions, decisions; which way do I go?
I'll give it some thought and my choice you will know...
Track Name: Joy in the Now
Woke up beside you on Monday,
Woke up serene, with a smile,
Couldn't believe you were with me,
I lay next to you for a while.

We hugged and we kissed and we cuddled,
The love and the joy were so strong,
Wished we could stay in bed longer,
But my job wouldn't wait for too long...

CHORUS:
Don't know when I'll see you again, but I will,
Don't know when I'll see you again, but I will!

I showered and thought back to Sunday,
At the Park, I waited for you,
We came to the Nuthouse and caught up,
I knew that our love was so true.

You brought a smile to my lips,
And such lightness to my heart,
Doesn't matter where you go,
We'll never truly part.

Amazingly only ten hours,
Ten better would be hard to find.
I love you incredibly, my babe,
You're here in my heart and my mind.

You brought a smile to my lips,
And such lightness to my heart,
Doesn't matter where you go,
We'll never truly part.

I still see your eyes,
Smell your perfume in the air,
You're my angel, my sweet Bubbles,
For you I'll always care...

CHORUS:
Don't know when I'll see you again, but I will,
Don't know when I'll see you again, but I will!
Love to kiss the tip of your nose, and I will, again,
Heaven just to lay beside you, and I will, again...
Track Name: Look at the Stars with Me
Look at the stars with me;
Make a wish on that first one.
Gazing upwards, you won't see
Happy tears in my eyes, hon.

You've changed my whole life around!
The dark cloud above me is gone.
Joy I once lost has been found,
And your sweet love helps me go on.

CHORUS:
I want to give you the sun and the moon,
I want to offer you more than this tune.
Your love has kindled a flame deep inside;
My feelings for you I just cannot hide.

Days together in the sunlight,
Your beauty like that of a rose.
Cuddling close to you at night
And gazing at you as you doze.

Do you see warrior Mars?
He stares sternly down at the world.
Accompanied by all the stars,
He watches this boy and this girl

CHORUS:
Who are watching him back in the night sky.
At this moment, I wish I could fly.
I need to be in your sweet presence, dear;
My heart will ache until you are near.

Look at the stars, my love;
I wish you were with me tonight.
I stare at the heavens above
And picture you in the moonlight.

Wherever you are, sweetheart,
Look at the stars with me.
Even when we are apart,
We're together in infinity...
Track Name: For Dana
Woke up alone on Monday,
Feelin' your absence,
Oh, babe, supposed to be here with me...

My whole world is moody grey,
Missin' your presence,
Oh, Dana, Dana, why is it that you can't see?

We're meant to be,
You and me,
I cried away,
All yesterday...

CHORUS:
And I'll never stop thinking of my perfect girl,
Nothin' to ease my mind, I still see your curls!
Time stood still when we found ourselves kissing,
I know you're the one, and you're the one I'll be missin'...
Forever.

I know he was good to you once,
But, baby, that's all gone,
Husband or not, he's not worthy of you...

I'm not the kind of man who hunts
For women, and I'm not trying to con you,
But, Dana, I'd be good to you and I know that you'd be good to me too!

You've got to believe
That you've got to leave,
His love isn't true,
He doesn't care about you...

CHORUS

I can't change your mind
If you want to stay
With the man who used to love you.

But please know that for you I've pined,
And I still hope that, maybe, someday
You'll understand that our love will be so true.

I'll wait until forever.
No one else; no, never!
You must return to me,
So happy we would be...

CHORUS

I'm missin' you, Dana... forever.
I'll wait for you, Bubbles... forever.
I'll see your eyes, Scully... forever.
(whispered) I love you, kiddo... forever.
Track Name: Swingin' in the Park (After Dark)
CHORUS:
Swingin' in the park (after dark)!
Swingin' in the park (after dark)!
Swingin' in the park (after dark)!
Swingin'...

I was walkin' through the park,
Had you so much on my mind,
Alone there in the dark,
Hopped on the swings so close to cryin',
I was down 'n I was low, I was swingin' in the park after dark!

Missin' you so bad, babe,
I hoped that you would come back to me,
No one else in sight
As I launched myself... skywardly!
And before I really knew it, I was swingin' in the park after dark!

Well, it helped clear my head,
Though my heart was still sore.
I knew that you loved me
As much as before.
Had our brief moment,
Now we'll have to see
If we'll ever have more;
'Til then I'll be-

CHORUS

And that's the way it goes, babe,
I'm waitin' in the park for you,
Don'tcha take too long, babe,
Don'tcha leave this little boy blue,
I'm hopin' someday soon we'll be swingin' in the park after dark-
Together!

CHORUS:
Swingin' in the park (after dark)!
Swingin' in the park (after dark)!
Swingin' in the park (after dark)!
Track Name: American in London
(Mind the gap...)

I stopped in St. James's Park, a cloudy day, but warm,
People fair and fowl passed me by.
The bloomin' flowers, the green green grass were beauteous,
But nothing to the loveliness of your eyes.

March in London Town, historical and proud,
Remembering deaths, yet full of life.
I could stay here but could I truly fit in?
My weary heart and head are filled with strife.

CHORUS:
I'm American,
Like it or not- American,
An American in London...
I'm American,
Like it or not- American,
An American in London.

Squeeze the people from the tube at Leicester Square,
Virgin's there, HMV too.
Ride the Northern to Elephant and Castle if you dare,
Or else just get off at Waterloo...

CHORUS

(Look right, look left!
Keep left, keep right!)

Joggers all around, Boots all over town,
Churches are everywhere to see,
Just so many ways to spend so many days,
But I wish that you could spend them here with me.

An elbow here, a careless mindless shove there,
"Sorry, mate," and it's OK,
A vision of your green eyes and suddenly I smile,
Love is love...

CHORUS
Track Name: Extreme Close-Up, then Fade to Black
You look at me,
Don't really see,
Very deeply
Inside of me...

Bring the lens in tight!
Shoot it black and white...!
Scars in sharp relief,
Am I beyond belief?

CHORUS:
Come in now, for an extreme close-up.
Accept, as I have, a universe so cold...
When it runs over, throw away my cup!
Why in the world should I feel so old?

Don't know what I mean,
You're part of the machine.
Don't know you're in a scene,
ou think I'm bitter mean...

Now cut to camera two!
I'm looking sadly at you...
Too sensitive, you call me;
Wake up! and maybe you'll see...

CHORUS:
Come in now, for an extreme close-up.
If you don't FEEL, then you're not alive.
The wine has become vinegar in my cup.
Sometimes I wonder how I've survived.

No, not quite there...
Though I do despair.
You stop and stare,
Don't know this world's not fucking fair!

CHORUS:
So tired now, I could fade to black.
None else regard emotions anyway.
In my heart, shattered crystal; in my soul, a crack,
Is it so hard to hear the things that I would say?

Extreme close-up, then fade to black.
Watching the credits, maybe you'll realize,
It wasn't my excess, it was your sore lack
Of unrepressed feelings, like these tears in my eyes...

Dissolve me.
Track Name: Source of Pain
Everyone smiles and tells me to cheer up,
None understands I'm standing in the rain.
A phrase or a song, a place where we once supped;
Everything now is just a source of pain.

Why should I cry when I think of her?
Our love, though star-crossed, was a sweet, pure thing.
But fate's cheated me, and now it's all over,
Memories swamp me; I'm falling!

CHORUS:
The pain isn't physical,
The damage not visible;
But deep inside, I've been slain!
It's all a source of pain...

Easy to say, "I guess she wasn't the one,"
Easy for you to tell me to move on.
So tell me where can I hide, where can I run?
The truth in my heart is not so easy to con.

CHORUS

Memories sweet, I'm so glad that I met her;
Nothing at all could ever make me forget her.
But memory's bittersweet, it's all in the past.
Should be with her now, but the cursed die's cast...

She touched me so deeply, in so short a time.
We loved each other though it was insane.
And now I pay the price; forever I'm
Reminded of what can't be. Damn this pain!

Everything now is just a source of pain...

This morning's unfulfilled dream is a source of pain...

I'm afraid life itself's a source of pain...
Track Name: Forlorn, Forsaken... Forgotten?
I look at you,
But you see through me now;
Don't know what to do,
Must get through somehow...

I don't know why
Relationships die.
Too late to cry...
No, that's a lie!

CHORUS:
Forlorn...
(You don't see that I need you, do you?)
Forsaken...
(Or maybe it means nothing to you...)

What happened to
The bond we shared?
Just me and you,
Back when you cared.

I want to say
So many things
To you today;
The cold, it stings...

CHORUS

Why did you turn
Your back on me?
The bridge is burned,
Permanently.

And still you mean
So much to me.
That's why it hurts
That you still don't see...

CHORUS:
Forlorn...
(You don't see that I need you, do you?)
Forsaken...
(Or maybe it means nothing to you...)
Forlorn...
(I'll always think of times when I knew you...)
Forsaken...
(Although you don't care anymore, do you?)
Forgotten?
Track Name: Not An Exit
CHORUS:
Too late now, I can't turn back,
This is not an exit!
No way out, except for-
Not if I can help it.

I was a star, my guitar took me far,
But I lost myself in the fame.
Tried a little smack, and I never once looked back,
Buried myself in the game,
You probably don't remember my name,
In a coma now, each day's the same, a shame,
I only had myself to blame.

CHORUS:
Such a fool, I did not see,
This is not an exit!
Can't escape, unless I-
Won't you help me fix it?

Boy of seventeen, full of hopes, full of dreams,
Full of love for my sweetheart.
Found to my despair the universe just isn't fair,
The accident just tore her apart,
From this world my girl did depart,
I pointed the blade straight at my heart, dead heart,
Nurses sadly reading my chart.

instrumental break

CHORUS:
Oh, please, no, just let me out!
I thought this was an exit!
A second chance is all I want,
Don't let me be the one who wrecks it.

Forty-three, I see, nothing really, but TV,
My shows get me through each day somehow.
Glass of red and CBS help me forget today's mess,
Don't care who is president now,
Reality shows make me say, "Wow,"
I wonder how much sex they'll allow, I vow,
Never will I furrow my brow.

CHORUS:
Now my life is all behind me,
It was not an exit!
The only way out now is- DEATH!
Not ready for my respite...
Track Name: Human Thing
Soulless politicians, they sell
Future of mankind, they'll burn in hell!
Gaia, Mother Nature, torn down;
Keep it up, we'll all be six feet underground.

Trust and love replaced by fear and hate.
Forget our differences, ignore the bait.
Why, oh why, do they want us to fight?
One race of man, not three; yeah, that's right!

CHORUS:
It's a- human thing, I hope you understand,
It's a- human thing, do you understand?

I am not amused, not any more;
Disgusted once again, look at the score!
Televangelists and congressmen
Sucking down our blood; they mustn't win!

Come my brothers, sisters, stand with me.
Together we can fight to be free!
The power brokers try dividing us;
They stay in control by doing thus.

CHORUS:
It's a- human thing, I hope you understand,
It's a- human thing, you'd better understand!

We can coexist, me and you,
If we have the right attitude.
Not my world, nor yours; it's ours to share.
Show me that you love, and that you care.

Do you think your god will condone
Sins against mankind, our chances blown?
Hell is full of those who hate and cheat.
Love each other, please; this song's complete!
Track Name: Joey Ramone's Dead
I read the news today, oh boy...
1-2-3-4!

Sittin' at the laptop, hair in fresh new spikes,
Catchin' up on news, when I gasped and said, "Yikes!"
Say it isn't so, tell me that he isn't gone!
Weeks later, I still can't believe what I lay my eyes upon.

Where can all the pinheads go, who's the new ringmaster?
Gimme gimme shock treatment; oh, man, what a disaster!
When she wouldn't date me, I let their tunes sedate me.
Go ahead, berate me; but it seems to me just lately...

CHORUS:
Life's not fair, and Joey Ramone's dead!
D'ya like my hair? I still have a full head.
You don't care, didn't even hear what I said,
What a nightmare, I should've stayed in bed.

Punk, it was my refuge, and I guess that it still is,
But an era is now over, an era that was his.
Time to face reality, and let the past die;
I'm sure I'm not the only one who wonders, "Why, oh why?"

CHORUS

I sit and stare into the grin of Skinny the Foo.
I just wanna have something to do!
Life goes on, I'm still an angry punker with a view,
But an icon is now gone, and he's left me here with you.

CHORUS (2x)
Track Name: Hole in the Wall
Love, ain't it grand?
Like lying naked on warm night sand.

Makes you feel so hot, so alive,
But those misguided fools never told you
Love would drive you to the brink...


I thought I was so strong, behind my Wall,
No one could touch me, or make me feel.
The world went by, I took in nothing at all;
Should I have cared, was any of it real? (Does it matter?)

Live for myself, live for right now!
But one day, I learned, to my surprise,
I could still be hurt, my guard was let down.
I turned and faced you, and I was paralyzed.

CHORUS:
Now I see, love is the hole in the Wall,
Killing me, setting me up for a fall.
Can this be, can I be heeding love's call?
Possibly, you just might be worth it all.

Lowered my defenses, let you inside,
Love broke through the Wall I built around me.
I smiled, and I laughed, but later I cried;
Now, through my tears, I finally see

Shutting out the pain, I shut out the love,
Letting in the love, invited in pain.
You risk getting burned, but that is part of
Feeling, and sharing, and so I say again,

CHORUS

And it hurts!
(But it feels good...)
And it hurts!
(But it feels good...)
Track Name: Blond on Blonde
He rolled off the girl,
Totally spent.
He thought to himself sadly,
"This just ain't what I meant

When I talked about love,
Talked about us,"
But he just bit his lip,
And walked her out to the bus.

CHORUS:
Blond on blonde,
And it happens just the same as before.
His heart's been conned,
He's in love, but to her, he's one more
Guy who's fond
Of the charms
Of a blonde...

Drank her off his mind,
But it didn't take long
'Til he'd sniffed out another
Though he knew down inside she was wrong.

CHORUS:
Blond on blonde,
And the poor sap goes through it again.
He's no James Bond,
He'll get hurt, it's just a question of when.
Jump in a pond;
It's safer than
Wanting a blonde!

He just cannot resist
Blondie's feminine wiles;
For a blue-eyed blonde babe,
He'd crawl a thousand miles!

And that's his tragic flaw,
Why he'll never be happy.
Puts those damn blondes on a pedestal,
When they're no better than you and me.

CHORUS:
Blond on blonde,
And it happens just the same as before.
His heart's been conned,
He's in love, but to her, he's one more
Guy who's fond
Of the charms
Of a blonde...

4th time around...
Track Name: J-ded
Yes, there's always a place for me,
I'm a young man, and I'm angry!
Things are bad, and they're getting worse!
Will you just sit there, and wait for the hearse?

My point of view isn't pointless.
Just surviving is just mindless.
Time for change, don't close your eyes,
See the rot your submission buys!

Ignorance is your bliss;
Short-sighted fools, think about this:
If you don't care for the next generation
They're not gonna volunteer to be your salvation!

CHORUS:
JADED!
JADED!

Too many only looking out for number one!
Too many people too quick with a gun!
Too many idiots inhabiting Earth,
I mock you and your problems because, for what it's worth, I'm-

CHORUS:
JADED!

JADED! (Do me a big favor and just suicide...)
JADED!
JADED! (Unless you're one of the few who is on life's side.)

Realize the human race is declining fast,
Concern for one another is a thing of the past.
Unless you see that you are all one big family,
Mankind will destroy itself eventually!

CHORUS:
JADED! (Look at one another with unjaded eyes...)
JADED! (How can you ignore the poor unfortunate's cries?)
JADED! (Would you not want someone else to lend you a hand?)
JADED! (The sufferings of your brethren are as grains of sand...)
JADED! (Don't let yourself become-)
JADED! (Don't let yourself become-)
JADED!
JADED!
Track Name: Second Shot
I lost you and cried,
My spirit nearly died!
You went on with your life;
For my part, I tried

To get through each day,
Come what may.
If I could see you again,
Here is what I would say...

CHORUS:
"I want a second shot with you,
I think that you want it, too.
Please come back to me, my love!
'Cos you're all that I can think of..."

Of you I still dreamed;
Sometimes the tears streamed.
You were deep in my heart
Forever, it seemed.

Our love had been true,
Though our moments too few.
If I could see you again,
This is what I'd tell you...

CHORUS:
"I want a second shot with you,
You make the whole world seem brand new.
Come make me a happy man,
'Cos, baby, you're the only one who can."

Got a message from you,
Too good to be true!
We talked and we talked,
The fat we did chew.

Then we got together,
Like we'd parted never.
I poured out two shots,
Gave you my heart forever!

CHORUS:
I got a second shot with you!
I guess somehow I always knew,
That our souls were too intertwined,
And that the Fates had plans designed

To bring you back to me someday.
And so, on my knees I'd like to say,
This second shot is nectar from the gods,
I got you back, despite the odds...
Track Name: That's Just What I Am
I'm not a man makin' tons and tons of money,
I'm just a guy, tryin' hard to find things funny.
I'm the boy who wants to call you 'honey,'
'Cos around you, my days always seem sunny!

I'm not a saint, though for you I'd try to be one.
I'm just a man who knows he's found a reason,
For everything to which there is a season,
'Cos it is you whom I long to be pleasin'...

CHORUS:
I'm a fool,
I'm a prince,
For lack of further evidence,

I'm your hero
On the lam,
That's just what I am!

I'm not a jerk, afraid to try a real change,
Not a sleepwalking man, no, I'm really not that strange.
I'm not your rival, I don't want to compete;
I'm your partner and your friend; you make me complete.

CHORUS:
Guitar player
With a pick,
I'm a hopeless romantic,

I'm the guy
Who'll push the pram,
That's just what I am!

Without you I am grim and fatalistic;
But with you I am supercalifragilistic!
I'm happy and I'm silly, all because of you.
And that is why I am the man who loves you.

Lovestruck boy,
(I am the man who loves you...)
I'm your toy!
(I am the man who loves you...)
Cybergeek,
(I am the man who loves you...)
I'm not a freak!
(I am the man who loves you...)
I'm your poet,
(I am the man who loves you...)
I think you know it.
(I am the man who loves you...)
Track Name: Dances on Clouds
He took her hand,
There were stars in his eyes,
She kissed him, and
He then realized

That she truly loved him
The way he truly loved her.
It made his head swim,
And he embraced his lover.

CHORUS:
She makes him dance on clouds,
Heart pounding in his chest so loud,
A love so deep is so rare,
But in her arms, he's on air.

All the burdens of life
Were lifted away.
All the sorrow and strife
Behind him he lay.

CHORUS:
She makes him dance on clouds,
Heart pounding in his chest so loud,
He wants to share with her his world,
He'd do anything for this girl.

They held each other
As the ages passed.
He knew all along
That their love would last.

Their souls intertwined
As they kissed in the sun,
True love they did find,
And the two are now one.

CHORUS:
She makes him dance on clouds,
Heart pounding in his chest so loud,
A love so deep is so rare,
But in her arms, he's on air.
Track Name: Today
Thanks for making me smile,
And thanks for being my friend.
You've been there all the while,
I hope you're there 'til the end.

If it weren't for you,
I'd be a lesser man.
I hope you know what you mean to me
And so I say, 'cos I can:

CHORUS:
Treat every day like a birthday,
Not necessarily yours!
When you open your heart to friends
Your heart suddenly soars.

We may not always agree,
We sometimes annoy each other,
But just the same, to me,
You're my sister or brother.

So I say thanks again,
For the good times and bad.
I just want you to know
I appreciate what we've had...

CHORUS

Let us pretend it's my birthday,
Say that it's your birthday, too, yeah.
Everyone's got a birthday,
And should have a friend like you!

Happy birthday, my dear friend,
May today bring you bliss.
I've got some wonderful pals,
And I'm so thankful for this.

CHORUS:
Treat every day like a birthday,
Not necessarily yours!
When you open your heart to friends
Your heart suddenly soars.

I wish you a happy birthday,
Whether it is or it's not;
I love you and thank you,
And hope I gave like I got...
Track Name: Joy in the New
Woke up beside you on Monday,
Woke up with peace in my soul.
I watched you quietly sleeping;
It made me feel happy and whole.

Willingly, we gave of ourselves;
Lovingly, we shared in bliss.
We gazed into each other's eyes,
And got lost in another kiss...

CHORUS:
Don't know why you should love me, but you do,
Don't know why you should love me, but you do!

Hearing you say that you love me
Fills me with joy in the now,
Brings to my eye a small teardrop,
Drops me to my knees to vow...

For you I'll do everything
In my power to do.
You make me so happy, honey;
My love belongs to you.

You are my friend and my lover;
Days and nights, bright as the sun.
Let's find happiness together.
I tell you that you are the one!

For you I'll do everything
In my power to do.
You make me so happy, honey;
My love belongs to you.

I'm lost in your eyes,
I feel lighter than air,
You bring me such joy in the new,
For you my heart I'll bare...

CHORUS:
Don't know why you should love me, but you do,
Don't know why you should love me, but you do!
I want to hold you in my arms, and I will, again,
Kiss you, and love you, and give you my heart, again, and again, and again...